


GODDAMMIT STEVE!

by Amelie_Jones



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Again, But will be happy if anyone else likes it, Frenemies Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson, I like this thing, M/M, New Jersey, None of the things I write are, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Overuse of the word “anyways”, P r e t z e l s, Pretzels, Sam Wilson is So Done, Sam has a gay panic, Song references, Steve likes Netflix, Stucky is implied, That’s what this whole story is centered around, This switches POVS, This was for fun okay, everyone is kind of ooc, i can’t believe that’s a tag, i think, who doesn’t
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29929500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amelie_Jones/pseuds/Amelie_Jones
Summary: Sam and Bucky are frenemies.Like very much so. Emphasis on the enemies.It’s very simple.Sam doesn’t like Bucky.Bucky doesn’t like Sam.Being stuck in Jersey as part of Steve’s grand plan to have them get along is not their idea of fun.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, Steve Rodgers/James “Bucky” Barnes
Kudos: 4





	1. Sam - Jelly on the plate

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally an audio recording which has been dictated into type from a somewhat old MP3 player.

Steve totally ships us. Seriously. He puts us in the same room, Bucky and I, and he’s like “Hey, you guys be friends!” And we’re like, “um, no” Like first of all: no, and second of all: no, and third of all: um no. Bucky doesn’t like me because I’m the second best friend, and he’s kind of just really jelly jelly jelly jelly on the plate (to quote Doja Cat), and for me, well, is there anybody who wouldn’t have a problem with Bucky being an ex assassin? Oh right, Steve. So anyway... Today Steve was like “Spar together! Have a day together!” So he sent us to New Jersey. We didn’t know he was going to drop us off and just leave us there, and was going to pick us up in two hours. Bucky probably had some five minute brooding to do (I don’t know), and I wanted to do some repairs on Redwing, and stuff like that, so both of us were complaining about those things, but Steve was already driving away and we were like “GODDAMMIT, STEVE!” Steve didn’t hear us, because he was listening to opera (he’s really into that right now).  
Now Bucky and I are stuck together. Well, not literally stuck together, at least not yet. You never know, maybe Steve will hire Spider-Man to come do that webbing job again. That was not fun. Let me tell you, Bucky is a very grouchy sort of person. And I was kind of fed up at that point too, so no, it was not fun.  
Seriously, I would’ve tried to tear his eyes out, and he would’ve tried to tear out mine if Steve had not rescued us five minutes later.  
By now you’re probably getting the gist that we’re more enemies than friends.  
Because Bucky’s kind of.... well, he doesn’t talk much, and when he does, sometimes he has a bad attitude. Steve’s always like “Give him a break, he’s still getting used to things.” And I get that. He doesn’t know what ily means, or jk, or lol. That poor man.


	2. Bucky - THAT IS A FREAKING DONUT, SAM

Here I am, in New Jersey with Sam. Yay. So as he might have told you, Steve dropped us off for two hours, and I’m beginning to lose it. Sam is like “Which way are we going to go?” He’s got a map and everything, and keeps asking me “Which way do you want to go?” And I’m like “I don’t care.” but then he keeps on suggesting dumb things, so I’m like, “Um, no.” And he said, “Well, you said you didn’t care.” so I said “I don’t care as long as we don’t do that.” His reply was, “Then you do care. You keep on saying no. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be saying no.” So that’s what we were arguing about five minutes ago. The only thing that stopped us is that we got some pretzels. Sam says pretzels fix everything, and Steve agrees. Not that I don’t love my best friend, but I think he’s kind of wrong when it comes to the pretzel thing. Pretzels cannot fix Sam. Or me. And the fact that Sam likes cinnamon ones? That’s just completely unforgivable. Look, Steve is cutting it close, what with eating the ones with jalapeños, but seriously. Raisin? Cinnamon sugar? That is not a pretzel. That is donut. That is a freaking donut! Sorry. I’m just channeling my frustrations into people’s pretzel choices. I know, that is an unhealthy way to cope, but you know what, I’m at my wits end right now. So forgive me for yelling about pretzels.  
Another thing about pretzels and Sam is that he is currently dipping his in cheese. And remember, this is the one with cinnamon sugar. I just don’t understand him. I just don’t. I’m gonna curse Steve up and down when we get back from New Jersey, because seriously, if there is one bad idea that he’s ever had, I’d just say, no offense to Steve, but this is not one of his better ideas.


	3. Sam - I wasn’t saying Bucky was attractive! Did I say that?! No....!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is in denial

Okay, right now, we are still in New Jersey. Steve has not come back yet. I was hoping he might’ve been, you know, bluffing about the two hour thing, but no. He wasn’t. It’s actually going to be two hours. Two hours with Bucky, who keeps shooting me weird looks as I eat my pretzel. I don’t know why.  
He’s a super soldier from, what, 70 years ago? Maybe he just doesn’t understand pretzels.  
He’s eating his, but he’s eating it very messily and spitefully.  
You don’t wanna see what he looks like when he’s eating it. He holds himself with a lot of dignity, but when it comes to eating pretzels, that’s not the case. He has cheese and salt all over his face, and it is not attractive.  
Not that he’s attractive on general. I wasn’t saying he’s attractive. Did I say that? No I didn’t. No. No. Nope.  
Bucky, if you’re hearing this, that was a joke. I don’t think you’re attractive.  
Of course, nobody thinks you’re attractive. Okay, maybe somebody thinks you’re attractive, but not me. Not me! No.  
We’re enemies. Come on now. Okay, maybe I should say frenemies. I mean, we’re not hard core enemies. We are frenemies, which means we can tolerate each other. Sometimes. But yes. That. So don’t get the wrong idea, Bucky. You know what, you probably think this is reverse psychology so... just don’t listen to this. Don’t listen to this recording. Please don’t.  
Because if you do, you’re either going to laugh at me, or strangle me. Or a little bit of both. Strangle me while laughing? That sounds wrong.  
Anyways, back on topic, right now Bucky is giving me weird looks about my pretzel. As he might’ve told you, I keep asking where he wants to go, and he says he doesn’t care, but then I suggest something that’s just a regular thing, but he says no. So as far as we’ve gotten is the pretzel place right by where Steve dropped us off because we can’t agree on anything.  
Bucky is being his usual self, with all his crankiness and supposed indifference. I think part of that is because he needed a pretzel. But don’t tell him I said that, because then he’ll get mad at me for accusing him of being hangry. Which he was, because his serious face has lessened a little bit, and he was able to talk to me in even toned sentences, whereas he was kind of being sharp with me when we got out of the car.  
So yes, pretzels do fix a lot of things, Bucky. Okay, not all things, I can agree with him on that. It cannot fix Bucky. Or Steve. Or me. But they can momentarily make things better. Especially the cinnamon sugar ones.  
Oh my god, they are so good! You guys, if there is a pretzel place near you, that serves cinnamon sugar flavored, you have got to try it. It is the absolute best. Don’t listen to what Bucky says. He just keeps calling them donuts, and I have to keep on telling him that they are pretzels. And they do count as pretzels even if they’re sweet. But Steve is cutting it close with the jalapeños, I can agree on that. Bucky just eats his plain. Or with mustard and cheese. He just like, dunks it in cheese and then the mustard, and I am currently making faces at him now because of that. And maybe in five minutes I’ll say, “how do you like it now!”  
because he was the one giving me weird looks before, so payback. Then he’ll probably do a very grown up thing, like sticking his tongue out at me. Which he has done before, and I’ve done it back (only when Steve’s not looking).  
So... thank you for listening to me chat about pretzels and this trip to New Jersey with Bucky Barnes that feels like eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the end


End file.
